Bernie Mac, Off Color?
The Associated Press reports that Bernie Mac, appearing at a fund-raiser for Barack Obama in Chicago, “joked about menopause, sexual infidelity and promiscuity, and used occasional crude language. “My little nephew came to me and he said, ‘Uncle, what’s the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?’” Mac said. “I said, I don’t know, but I said, ‘Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d make love to the mailman for $50,000.’ As the joke continued, the punchline evoked an angry response from at least one person in the audience, who said it was offensive to women. “It’s not funny. Let’s get Barack on,” a man shouted from the crowd, which paid $2,300 each to support the Illinois senator.”
So let me get this straight. One person’s audience reaction, (one!) which is the equivalent of an errant, and usually idiotic, blog comment, now warrants a national news story that gives the Associated Press a chance to yet again spank Obama? I’m beginning to believe the Carpetbagger’s claim that the AP is out to get Obama (wouldn’t be surprising, now that Ruper Murdoch, a Trojan horse and ass all in one, is on the AP’s board. That’s like inviting Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sit on the board of Yad Vashem.) Anyway, to return to the Bernie Mac show, what is this, Plymouth Colony in the winter of 1634, when the only thing getting men horny was the dominatrix impulse to lord it over other people’s morals and humour? This reminds me of a wonderful passage in Anthony Swofford’s Jarhead (which prompted me to post today’s archival rerun):
At boot camp I was chosen Catholic lay reader. When all of the Catholic recruits had been herded into one corner of the squad bay, I was within arm’s reach of Drill Instructor Seats, who grabbed me by my collar and said, “You, fuckface, you’re the goddam Catholic lay reader. Whenever a Catholic recruit wants to pray, you lead the fucking prayer. If a Catholic recruit wants a fucking Bible, you shit him a Bible, pronto. You lead the Catholic prayer every night. This is the catch. There really isn’t Catholic prayer every night, except the one your drill instructors tell about praying that you shitbag recruits become mean, green killing motherfuckers. On Sundays, you march this shit bucket of Catholics over to the church. This is another catch. There isn’t a church, but there’s a big goddamn theater, and from ten hundred to eleven hundred the Catholics own the theater. That’s when you march over there. You do your damn praying and singing. And then you march back. If it’s taps, and the officer of the day walks on deck, and one of your drill instructors says, ‘Pray, recruits,’ you better start praying, pray like a motherfucker, like you do it every night, like it’s as natural as sucking on your mommy’s nipple. And any other time your drill instructors decide it’s time for the Catholics to pray, you better shit me a prayer, do you understand, fuckface?”
Now, to that member of the audience who objected to Bernie Mac’s jokes, here’s a suggestion: Go shit yourself a motherfucking sense of humor—or vote Republican.