Midterm Madness

Later today, about an hour before the polls close, Cheryl and I are taking the kids and heading to our neighborly precinct to vote, crack the obligatory jokes about turnout being less impressive than nomad sightings in the Gobi Desert , then return home by way of Oriental Garden , our favorite Chinese joint, for some take-out. We haven’t figured out yet how to watch the returns without experiencing a succession of strokes and coronaries—not because of the anticipated vote, which won’t be as fun as it might have been had Democrats had a brain instead of a Kerry, but because of the damn anchors. It just occurred to me that this will be Katie Couric’s first election at the CBS helm, reason enough to cancel this democracy business altogether. To make the whole thing a bit more bearable (and put us on record) here are a few predictions by high-flying commenters on this site and others I’ve asked. You’re welcome to add your own in the comment section; I’ll bump them up to the grid as time permits. A 50-50 Senate is a Republican Senate, remember, so no ties allowed. Winners get a year’s free subscription to Candide’s Notebooks. Losers get three years.