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Best of Blogs Round-Up: Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Quote of the day: "Elizabeth Cheney is referred to in the State Department as the “democracy tsar” for the Middle East. The democracy tsar. The Vice President’s daughter has been appointed by her father’s administration to be the autocrat of someone else’s democracy. It’s practically poetry."—Sisyphus Shrugged

Featured Blog I: Dakota Solution
More Fucking

Here's what we do: the age of consent in South Dakota is 16 years old, so this'll be easy. We gotta get a bunch of the smoothest black motherfuckers around, sweet-talkin', hot lookin' African American males, we're talkin' some Terence Howard or Andre 3000 or Taye Diggs-lookin' and actin' dudes, and get 'em on board for a mission to South Dakota, where the past-the-age-of-consent (which is, by the way, 16) white pussies are tight and virginal and ready for fuckin'.

Then we organize us a concert, say a double bill of Common and John Legend, maybe a mini-tour of the fine, repressed towns of Pierre, the ironically-named Deadwood, and the even more ironically-named Sioux Falls, places where meth use and HIV infections due to IV drug abuse are flyin' high.

Invite all the fine Christian youth groups, young women only past the age of consent, which is, as has been mentioned, sixteen, to the concert, and let them listen to Common for a little while. All of a sudden, in their pure white panties, they'll start feelin' sticky and strange, like they did for just a moment when they saw Michael W. Smith in concert, but now it's so much more intense, much hotter, and so goddamn-oops- damn tingly, and, what the hey? No one's makin' 'em feel guilty for it.

Then, the trap set, the troop of smooth black dudes heads into the club or American Legion Hall to start dancin' with the beautiful, snow-white daughters, all of whom are at least 16, of South Dakota. If a Taye Diggs-lookin' man is whisperin' in your ear, movin' slow to that groove, while John Legend is singin' "Let's Get Lifted Again," you are goin' to promise to do anything to fuck that man.

Which, of course is the end result of the evening. Fuckin'. Lots of fuckin'. All consensual. All without drugs or alcohol. All above 16. Just pure, passionate, oh, shit, ain't this fun, fuckin'. The cherry poppin' noises'll make it sound like New Year's Eve. Those upstandin' Christian white girls'll be shoutin' their "Hallelujahs" and "Amens" and really know what those words mean.

And when the night is over? Well, shit, it's South Dakota, man. Get those guys out of there. Fast. You seen how they treat the Indians who live there? How do you think they're gonna treat visitin' non-whites?

Over the next few weeks, months even, as periods are missed and crocodile tears are shed (for, indeed, there will be few real regrets), you can pretty much bet that abortion on demand will become the law of the land in South Dakota so fast that it'll seem that yesterday never happened.


Featured Blogger II: Patriarchal Drumroll
South Dakota and Libya: Blood Brothers in Misogyny

A significant portion of the patriarchy-blamer’s ideological day is spent pondering the subject of rape. Rape is, as we have seen, the founding principle of patriarchy and the model from which patriarchy’s most popular form of propaganda, porn, takes its inspiration. Rape isn’t just a subset of unrelated incidents perpetrated by a fringe contingent of sickos. It is, as Susan Brownmilller asserted, “a conscious process by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.”

If you are a man, and you don’t rape women, well, goody for you, but if you email me with some inane vituperation about how your personal noble restraint invalidates Brownmiller’s statement, you will only embarrass yourself. No matter what kind of man you are, you benefit in a thousand different ways from the violent sexualization of women’s subordination. Actual rapists have got the initial shock and awe covered, but they’re only the infantry; it’s up to the rest of you to finish the job.

You do this by demonizing feminists, by renting women for lap dances, by letting rapists off the hook in court, by buying cheap crap Victoria’s Secret thongs for your woman, by congratulating your girlfriend on her boob job, by ignoring mass rapes in Rwanda, by passing along the URL to Paris Hilton’s fuck video, by ogling that girl at the bus stop, by letting your mom do your laundry, by “giving away” a bride, by voting control of women’s uteruses over to godbag politicians, by pressuring your girlfriend to take it up the ass because all your friends are doin’ it, by having an opinion on the size of human labia, by arguing that stripping is “empowering,” by claiming you’re “hardwired” to be turned on by women who emulate the ludicrous fashion practices of strippers and centerfolds, by your inability to conceive of sex without dominance, and by refusing, despite 30 years of intelligent, educated women telling you otherwise, to concede that you don’t really, truly view women as human beings in anything approaching the same light in which you view yourself.

But women, you might be inclined to argue, having heard somewhere that some men have started doing housework, have it so much better now. You think so? Then how is it that an American woman is raped every couple of minutes, and that 78% of these rapists are husbands, boyfriends, or dates? Less than 16% of these rapes are reported. Less than half of those are prosecuted. The average amount of time these few convicted dickwads spend in the clink: 11 months.

The dehumanizing groundwork laid by these rapists forms an excellent foundation upon which to build many a creatively misogynist cultural practice. The women of South Dakota, some of the first casualties in the impending gynocide, have been bought and paid for by some lunatic bid to overturn Roe in the Supreme Court. Such a thing would not have been possible in a culture where women are viewed as you are viewed: as something beyond the essence of sex.

Is the connection between rape and modern civilization’s Xtreme Mxogyny still too fuzzy for you? Then let’s check out Libya, where they don’t pussyfoot around. It’s crystal-fucking-clear in Libya. Like in the US, getting raped in Libya is a crime. The difference is that in Libya they dispense with the charade of joke trials for rapists that really punish the rape victims. in Libya, you go directly to jail. I’m talking about the victims, not the rapists. Getting raped is punishable by indefinite detention without legal representation.

That’s right. According to the Human Rights Watch, Libya actually imprisons women for the crime of “moral misconduct,” claiming it is for their own good. Like uterus-owning South Dakota, which is protecting women from themselves, or rapist-loving Illinois, which lets rapists go free despite videotaped evidence, Libya cannot trust women to make their own decisions, or put rapists in jail. So they just lock up these inconvenient women in “rehabilitation centers.”

“We let the ones with good behavior work, the ones that don’t raise their voices, the ones that sleep quietly.”

Who are these women? Rape victims, women who have had unapproved consensual sex, “illegally” pregnant women, prostitutes, homeless women, or, as one Libyan attorney puts it, “anyone with families who … want to get rid of their daughters for any reason.”

Nada Mounir, seventeen, was brought to [the Benghazi Home for Juvenile Girls] on April 21, 2005 after the death of a relative who tried to rape her. She attacked him with a knife in self-defense, and he subsequently died of complications. She told Human Rights Watch, “[h]e tried to rape me but he didn’t succeed. My parents were in another house. He came from behind the house. He kissed me. He had a knife. He pulled me down by my hair and said he was going to do it but I took the knife and stabbed him. I told my mother about it. She took me to the police station. They [the police] took me to the prosecutor who brought me here.” Her family refuses to visit her or agree to take custody of her. She does not have a lawyer.

Once they’re in, the only way out is for a male family member to “claim” them. This claiming requirement applies even if the woman in question is an adult and has committed no crime other than that of having been raped. Because male family members generally want nothing to do with them, they are left hanging until some stranger agrees to marry them. This results in male fuckwads lurking around the detention centers looking to score some prison pussy.

Libya feels it is on the cutting edge of progressive thought when it provides prisons for these women instead of just letting their families kill them outright. “In the street there is no protection for them,” they say. But in Libya, “protection” means they are locked up, handcuffed, held in isolation, forced to sit through religious lectures, deprived of education, of hygiene, and of contact with the outside world. They are forced to endure invasive “virginity examinations.” If they escape, they are brought back.

In South Dakota, rape victims who get pregnant aren’t thrown in an actual prison, but it’s hard to think of compulsory pregnancy in any other way. Unless you’re a guy.



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